Comments on: Please Spay and Neuter Abusive Parents

By: Ellen

Ellen — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 03:42:30 +0000

i used some of your statements for my research paper! nice job.

By: Dottie

Dottie — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:55:26 +0000

I agree to most of what you said. On the other hand I am a rehabilitated user. I have been clean for almost 10 years now and have seen personally the effects of my using. I have also seen the effects of the parent who decided that the drugs were way more important then their children. I have witnessed many a child taken from the parents and placed elsewhere, to find that the parent just has another child. It infuriates me. To think that another child can replace that of one lost. If the parental rights were taken away then so should the right of being able to reproduce.
Can you please let me know where I can get some statistics?

By: gina

gina — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 08:50:32 +0000

people can use drugs and be good parents. That idea that usage precludes qaulity nurturing is absurd

By: sandoz

sandoz — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 16:57:10 +0000

I see many of your points. Of course you will ALWAYS have people that will say we lack compassion due to our views. In my mind, those are the types of people that enable these imbeciles to continue with their irrational lives and produce more drug addicted born babies.

I know a couple, who has taken in 2 children from the husbands sister.
This sister is a drug addict (crystal meth and I am sure whatever else she can get her hands on) and an alcoholic. She had a daughter, she was born addicted to Meth and alcohol. The baby was taken away from her and put into a home… the brother and his wife took the baby in and continue to care for her.
She had another baby in Texas that was stillborn because it was born addicted… to guess what!!!?? Meth and alcohol. She is now wanted in Texas, but she left the state immediately.
Now time rolls on.. she had another baby addicted to Meth and alcohol, baby was taken away, brother and wife debated on taking this second child in because they would like to have their own children rather than her drug/alcohol children.
Now she is in the Carolinas and basically called them on the phone sounding like she was bragging about how she was pregnant AGAIN. This is going to be another child born into this world addicted to Meth and Alcohol….

I think this is ridiculous. Can’t take her parts away because that would be against her civil rights. But she can go around and have all of these babies addicted to drugs and alcohol that may have issues due to this later in their lives?
I know the brother and wife aren’t going to continue to take these children in.
So.. when does it end? Why does she deserve civil rights when she doesn’t even care about the life she is creating and bringing into this world? Why should she be allowed to do this?
She NEEDS to be fixed. Nothing can be done because she continues to have babies in different states, so she gets away with this radical behaviour.
If she wants to drug and drink herself to death, fine by me. She has had multiple chances.
Why should these children have to suffer for her lack of care? And why should the people who "adopt" these children have to deal with the issues she caused later in their lives.

By: Jacob Santos

Jacob Santos — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 23:55:47 +0000

Well, to be honest, I was kidding when I say those people should be “fixed.” I do agree that whatever children they do have should be taken from them at the point of the hospital. It would be impossible to have policy enacted that forces and enforces that the ability to have children is taken away.

It is a very difficult subject and I have video from when I spoke about it, but I would have to cut out all of the stuttering and clean up a lot of other bits.

By: katie

katie — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 03:05:58 +0000

I actually totally agree with you which is why I was curious where you got your info from. I found some really interesting stats actually..things like there’s an 85% rate of people who return to abusive habits even after rehabilitation services. It’s serious stuff. I’m writing a paper arguing that people accused of child abuse should lose custody of children and lose the right to have any more children under their care.

By: Jacob Santos

Jacob Santos — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 01:05:20 +0000

Statements from professors and books on the mental development. I did not use resources online. It is also from what I’ve experience and read over the years. If you find scientific research that debunks what I’ve read, then I’ll be glad to read it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Developmental_psychology – might be a good place to start, however it does not put into context all that I’m referring to.

If you review the stages of the mind, you’ll find that people generally halt most development of the brain around 20 and 21. Full maturity doesn’t occur until around 34 and 35.

From this basic and common assumption, it can be assumed that whatever one has decided once they have reached this level, it would be extremely difficult to change.

In order for that change to even begin to formulate, the person has to realize that what they are doing is wrong. I’ve known abusive people and this is the case. They fail to realize that their actions has adverse effects upon not only themselves whoever they are acting upon, “It is your fault I am hitting you.” No, no one can make you do anything except yourself.

Take also the example I’ve read in a magazine. The step father (or father) told the daughter that since her mother was not satisfying him, that she will have to do so. What idiocy is that? “It is not my fault I’m going to rape you, it is your mothers.”

What you are trying to change is not the intelligence, knowledge, but the personally and that is pretty much set. Well, it is given that people develop at different rates, but just try changing my personally. It won’t happen.

By: katie

katie — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 22:44:02 +0000

Jacob,
May I ask where you got your information from? I’m especiall interested in this statement:

"Technically, once a person has reached past 20, it is a lot harder to change their personality and therefore their behavior."

I’ve been trying to find information stating something along these lines but can’t fine any real evidence. Where did you find it?

By: sharon

sharon — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 12:03:45 +0000

I am an incest surviver. i am 50 years old now and I am finally ready to let it go.My parents continue to be abusers,they will never change,I spent
years working at forgivness,but was made to carry rhe guilt and shame.i am not the abuser,nor am i the guilty one.It has been a total nightmare.
My baby sister commited suicide 4 years ago.She was only 39.I have a
lot of resentment towards my mother for she was told about it but failed
to protect her own children.I have little respect for either of them.It is now
time to move on.Ive suffered tremendously.

By: Tammy

Tammy — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 20:50:29 +0000

I argree with you one hundred percent. My husband and I are currently going through pure hell over his 7 yr old daughter. His ex wife is a drunk, crackhead, and bipolar. She abuses my husbands daughter every chance she gets with the law turning their head and sweeping it under the rug. Nobody understands how horrible it is until they actually witness the abuse of a child their selves. I am going to take it one step further and say the spay/neuter thing is way to humane. They need to be tortured until they go insane and then they need to be dropped into a deep hole in the earth to starve to death. Actually I as a human being can’t think up anything horrible enough to do to them.