Tag Archives: car salesman

Predatory Car Selling Practices

Posted by santosj on October 29, 2007 Comments Off

Selling a $4000 Kelly Blue Book valued car for $12000

Okay, so the answer is no, well, “HELL NO BITCH!” or “Bitch! Hell No!” Either one to your fancy?

I thought about it, I really did, I really wanted a car. Not so badly I get ganged raped by car salesman. “Would you like me to bend over or would you rather force yourself on me?” Then thoughts of months of paying the car, many hours of working to pay the car off. I thought about the dreams of building a new PC or two, all would be gone for the duration I would have to pay off the car.

Not to mention the fear of losing my job. Not only that, but having to pay off a car that I wouldn’t be able to sell for the same price I bought it for. Losing your job is already a mess of hurt feelings and despair, the thought of compounding it with a car payment is more than I could take.

Never leave the lot on the first visit with the car. They want you to sell it to you, because they know, chances are, you aren’t coming back. There is excitement in the smell, the ride, the idea of picking up fine ass women or so you think the car will allow you to pick up fine women. “Hey honeys, get in my fine ride and I’ll show you a fine ride. If you know what I mean and I’m sure you do.” Perhaps I like to fantasize, that perhaps up against a hot car, maybe I wouldn’t be so unattractive. Ah, but one must bring themselves down to reality, as painful as it may seem.

So we are going to finance you!

So, not only are you going to sell me a car three times its worth (if it was in excellent condition and it wasn’t), you are going to finance me and get back double in interest. Wow! You assholes are geniuses! You must be Gods to not only sell your cars, but stay in business for more than a month. How many cars do you sell? Most likely more than four.

Poor fools. If only it was four, statistically there are probably more than four idiots a week going in debt for your mad scheme to make incredible amount of profit. If only I was as crooked and evil, I might finally set up my company where I sell people a book discussing how to sell idiots a book to make a fortune. I’m too honest. I should love money more, maybe I could finally get those fine women I’ve always dreamed about. Wave huge wads of $100 dollars bills in my pimped out vehicle.

Isn’t that picking up hookers? Hmm. Yeah, maybe, nah. I’m too young to go to jail for something so simple. Maybe when I’m 40.

We’ll even give you a Warranty

Will it cover a new engine? No. Will it cover the radiator, spark plugs, tune up, oil change, new muffler? Maybe. It depends on how much it will cost and how long you’ll go down for. Several hours, maybe? Yeah, I guess we can be nice and give you a new muffler. You know out of the kindness of our hearts. Now get on your knees! Please god, if you exist, kill me now!

Not to mention only covering 5000 miles or 90 days. Yeah, unless the guy that traded in the car towed the car in, most problems will occur long after that. At least the really big ones that weren’t already checked up and probably half assed fixed first. “Eh? Just put that used engine from the totaled car in it. Who’ll know the difference?”

Can you at least put some power fluid in it? I’ll rather not man-handle the vehicle, it isn’t safe when you are going around a sharp curve at 60 miles an hour.

Only $200 down

Well, coincidentally, putting such a low amount down is going to increase the monthly payments and will cause for higher interest in the long run. I think it is a sign of desperation of both the seller and buyer to resort to such low tactics. If I wasn’t more of a fool, I would instantly bow to your game. I do really want a car that isn’t ready to break down. I just don’t want to be raped in the process.

I just care too much about my wallet. What if I lose my job? Hey, I’m a dumbass with the high possibility of doing something incredibility stupid. Just read my former posts for many examples! Oh wait, I already have a job where I do programming. My bad. At least one part of my life is full of happiness. When broken down, I can think back to my job and the tears running down my face will be that of happiness and not the obvious ones of sadness, “My tears are of sadness, when in fact they are of happiness.”

Although it would bring up questions of how you can cry tears of happiness. If you are happy, then you have no need to cry. For that matter why are you crying when you are sad? You only waste valuable moisture that could be better spent cooling your body or providing life to your cells. Why would you hurt your body so by such a simple and unnecessary act?

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