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The curves, such delight. Produces such wonder, “Are you free?” Please be mine, if only for a moment. I’ll be good to you a swear on the many beatings I do not plan in advance to give you. Mostly while I’m drunk off of my power, which incidentally you gave me.

The way you handle PHPdoc comments, I cried. Compiled phpDocumentor site? Wow! If only it wasn’t so easy for me to do it myself, but you do save a lot of time. Subversion, CVS, if only Eclipse, my shy love didn’t already do the same. I wish to love you so for it, I really do, but I can’t love you for it alone. Please. Don’t hate me, I’m only a man and a man can only love, so much. “Also, bitch, WTF? is up with not understanding @uses, I mean damn, aren’t you uses PHPdocumentor 1.4 yet?” Forgive me, I speak out of line.

If only my other love Eclipse was as easy, but alas, I have not used it enough to know for sure if it will last. Oh. Zend Studio Neon. Others may dislike you, call you mean names, but that only leaves more for me! If you’ll like, I’ll get sweet, delicious revenge for you. You know, for our love that is sure to be.

Oh dare god, please don’t let this be on Planet PHP! I could die I could.

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Okay, so the answer is no, well, “HELL NO BITCH!” or “Bitch! Hell No!” Either one to your fancy?

I thought about it, I really did, I really wanted a car. Not so badly I get ganged raped by car salesman. “Would you like me to bend over or would you rather force yourself on me?” Then thoughts of months of paying the car, many hours of working to pay the car off. I thought about the dreams of building a new PC or two, all would be gone for the duration I would have to pay off the car.

Not to mention the fear of losing my job. Not only that, but having to pay off a car that I wouldn’t be able to sell for the same price I bought it for. Losing your job is already a mess of hurt feelings and despair, the thought of compounding it with a car payment is more than I could take.

Never leave the lot on the first visit with the car. They want you to sell it to you, because they know, chances are, you aren’t coming back. There is excitement in the smell, the ride, the idea of picking up fine ass women or so you think the car will allow you to pick up fine women. “Hey honeys, get in my fine ride and I’ll show you a fine ride. If you know what I mean and I’m sure you do.” Perhaps I like to fantasize, that perhaps up against a hot car, maybe I wouldn’t be so unattractive. Ah, but one must bring themselves down to reality, as painful as it may seem.

So we are going to finance you!

So, not only are you going to sell me a car three times its worth (if it was in excellent condition and it wasn’t), you are going to finance me and get back double in interest. Wow! You assholes are geniuses! You must be Gods to not only sell your cars, but stay in business for more than a month. How many cars do you sell? Most likely more than four.

Poor fools. If only it was four, statistically there are probably more than four idiots a week going in debt for your mad scheme to make incredible amount of profit. If only I was as crooked and evil, I might finally set up my company where I sell people a book discussing how to sell idiots a book to make a fortune. I’m too honest. I should love money more, maybe I could finally get those fine women I’ve always dreamed about. Wave huge wads of $100 dollars bills in my pimped out vehicle.

Isn’t that picking up hookers? Hmm. Yeah, maybe, nah. I’m too young to go to jail for something so simple. Maybe when I’m 40.

We’ll even give you a Warranty

Will it cover a new engine? No. Will it cover the radiator, spark plugs, tune up, oil change, new muffler? Maybe. It depends on how much it will cost and how long you’ll go down for. Several hours, maybe? Yeah, I guess we can be nice and give you a new muffler. You know out of the kindness of our hearts. Now get on your knees! Please god, if you exist, kill me now!

Not to mention only covering 5000 miles or 90 days. Yeah, unless the guy that traded in the car towed the car in, most problems will occur long after that. At least the really big ones that weren’t already checked up and probably half assed fixed first. “Eh? Just put that used engine from the totaled car in it. Who’ll know the difference?”

Can you at least put some power fluid in it? I’ll rather not man-handle the vehicle, it isn’t safe when you are going around a sharp curve at 60 miles an hour.

Only $200 down

Well, coincidentally, putting such a low amount down is going to increase the monthly payments and will cause for higher interest in the long run. I think it is a sign of desperation of both the seller and buyer to resort to such low tactics. If I wasn’t more of a fool, I would instantly bow to your game. I do really want a car that isn’t ready to break down. I just don’t want to be raped in the process.

I just care too much about my wallet. What if I lose my job? Hey, I’m a dumbass with the high possibility of doing something incredibility stupid. Just read my former posts for many examples! Oh wait, I already have a job where I do programming. My bad. At least one part of my life is full of happiness. When broken down, I can think back to my job and the tears running down my face will be that of happiness and not the obvious ones of sadness, “My tears are of sadness, when in fact they are of happiness.”

Although it would bring up questions of how you can cry tears of happiness. If you are happy, then you have no need to cry. For that matter why are you crying when you are sad? You only waste valuable moisture that could be better spent cooling your body or providing life to your cells. Why would you hurt your body so by such a simple and unnecessary act?

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Win/Win.

I’m going to try even harder now that enough people are saying that I’m not right (which is nicer than saying I’m wrong) on Just-in-Time compilation benefits for PHP. I really do think the extra seconds saved will great impact what PHP can be used for in the future. Judging from a working PHP 4 compiler, it cuts the time in half. Let us say for a moment that you have to process 100 datasets that takes .15 seconds each iteration. That is 15 seconds. If you compile it and it only takes .075 seconds, then well, it would only take 7.5 seconds. It is a poor example, but the point I’m trying to make is if you cut the time, even by a fraction, it can save a lot within a loop.

Yeah, sure it isn’t going to be a huge deal for front end sites because they won’t have anything that within a loop that takes that long. Even if they had a loop, they would use caching so that users wouldn’t notice the speed decrease. If you are doing gaming, math intensive, or heavy processing, it can get ugly very fast and limit you quickly on what you can afford to do time and processing on shared hosts.

The only way to know for sure whether or not JIT will benefit users, is to have a working and optimized solution for which testing can occur. My ultimate goal and I hope by next year I’ll have a working version that can be tested. Along the way, I have other side quests I need to complete before I can get from point ‘A’, which is not having JIT implementation, to point ‘B’, where I have a working implementation.

Not that I care whether or not it speeds PHP up, it would be nice. By this time next year I would know a lot more about Python than I do now and PHP JIT would be less important. My motivation is more compiler theory and always wanting to do something like this. The wealth of knowledge within the Zend and PHP engines is massive and anyone would learn a great deal tweaking and lurking around within them.

So, something next year, I want to either prove I’m right (hopefully that will be the case) or I’ll just prove what everyone else is saying and slowly bow my head momentarily in shame.

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There are three fractions who reside on the world.

1. Blue Team: Kills Red team; all male.
2. Red Team: Kills Blue Team; all male.
3. Scientists: Female; judge; creates more men.

Family

The people are grown in a test tube to replenish the supply of men to be used again. The Scientists are also grown in a test tube. The teams don’t live past age 25 and the Scientists live until 85.

Education

Males are trained from an early age of four years to be a soldier and battle on the ground and in Mecha. Females are trained in an academy.

Folkway and mores

Love between men and women is nonexistent but for those that venture into it are brutally tortured and then forced to shoot each other. Lover kills lover.

Friendship or kindness or love towards the other fraction is punished by having the persons’ arms off and then beat to death by their own limbs.

Laws

Blue Team must kill Red team.

Red Team must kill Blue Team.

Backstabbing is legal and expected in extreme cases to gain ranks. Murder is required from the teams, the Scientists can kill the males for any reason at any time.

Religion and Holidays

There isn’t any religion and any rhetoric about god is strictly put down by force.

1. Melee Battle Day

Coin is flipped and loser has to fight without any weapons for one day. Other side can have any weapon that they want.

2. Death to Love Day

No fighting for the day.

Each side takes a test to see if they have any love and/or compassion and then put down.

Political System

The leaders of each Fraction meet in a fashion that involves bloodshed. The side that wins, has the most people standing, gets to choose when the battle begins and ends. Any disputes are put down with all that are involved massacred.

Economic System

There is no money and all technology is shared equally to allow for fair fighting. Everything is shared equally between everyone.

Language

Own, unique language for battle techniques. Mostly grunts and other sounds that could come out as cuss words.

Sports

None, every day is a game of survival, such as.

1. Throwing a timed Grenade around as one of them is taken out.
2. Form of soccer where the losers are all killed.

Art, Literature, Music

Music is played during the tortures and paintings are done of the dead people and landscape after the battles.

The expensive ones were done while the artist was being tortured while music was being played.

Science and Technology

Mecha are 8 feet tall machines that are men fight in as a form of killing the other.

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